Enough Already

Okay boys, let’s step up to the mirror and open your shirts and count the hairs on your chest. You’re all grown up now. You’ve broken free from those nasty self-righteous, judgmental, tea-totaling Fundamentalists and earned your own place as nasty, self-righteous, judgmental, beer guzzling, whateverists. Good for you. 

Forgive me if I pull the age thing on you, but I was working through questions of freedom and conscience before many of you were even born; yet, somewhere along the line someone managed to get it through my head that re-thinking and re-evaluating are a part of life. Sure, I wish I had re-thought and re-evaluated some things earlier than I did, but when the time came it was no big deal. Of course there were people who were disappointed in me (thus teaching me not to play that card on others), and there were those who became obnoxious and threatening (thus unintentionally turning my thoughts to Jesus’ words to treat others as I would want to be treated and not as they treated me).

In my later years I have watched a few movies, but I have done so because I was convinced it would be profitable in connecting with others or simply because it would be something to do for mental recreation. There was no issue of psychological damage which could be resolved only by marathon visits to the local theaters and DVD stores.

I still have not taken up alcohol; but not because I fear some dark judgment. I just happen to recognize I have an addictive feature to my character and I don’t want to risk becoming a drunk when God wants me to think clearly (at least as clearly as I can with what I have to work with). I personally embrace the counsel of Lemuel’s mother (Proverbs 31) who told him there were too many things he needed to be able to do for others to waste his time developing his taste for fine wine. I’m terribly sorry if this means I don’t measure up; and the reason I think it might mean that is, I cannot read anything you write without being told you’re having a beer, a brandy or a night cap. When something gets mentioned enough times it takes on the character of a mantra – a measuring device, a predictable and expected nod to something which has become more than "accepted" – something worshiped. Nope, I’m not telling YOU not to drink. Far be it from ME to tell YOU anything. However, knowing your desire not to be like those Fundamentalists, you might want to check to see if your indulgence is just a mirror image of their legalism. 

Speaking of risk. Wow! You guys sure are adventuresome! Yessiree, real risk takers. From paintball to extreme sports you’re the real wild men of the day! Some of you can swear like a pimp and call people who blush bigots and hypocrites. Can you get more awesome than that? With a manly swagger you let it be known that no Fundamentalist is going to tell you what to do. Yet, golly (spoken like a true wimp), since you and your colleagues are so predictable in so many wild and reckless ways, I wonder what issues in your own circles are “enforced” on each other by the “look.” You know what I mean, that raised eyebrow or sneer other legalists use to keep each other in line? Do you, after all, turn your scorn on any of your group who might dare to say that some sacred cow of your wild and wonderful world is not for them? 

Please don’t think I’m picking on you. I’m saying the same thing to you that I’ve said to my Fundamentalist circle (and to myself) about many fetishes wrapped in the vocabulary of conviction or freedom. If you want to lump me with them you may, since you do tend to lump people just like they do. However, please be advised that some of my Fundamentalist friends have lumped me with you. On the other hand, please DO think I’m challenging your self-righteous self-congratulationism. My point is, you sound like a bunch of sneering bullies skulking behind the barn daring each other to light up while laughing at the stupid fools who told you not to. Or, worse, you sound just like some legalistic cliques I've known over the years. There is, I believe, a considerable difference between Jesus’ passion to seek and save the lost, and the passion to sit around a campfire sniffing arm pits whether or not you are quaffing a pint in the process. 

As I listen to you scorn the weak, I am grateful. You have helped me discover true friendships with people who do things my conscience will not let me do or who do not do things which my conscience will allow. They are dynamic. Even if they drink, they encourage me to focus more toward the blood of the cross rather than toward the wine pitchers of Cana. They and I both understand and encourage each other to remember that the casting out of one demon of legalistic error, if not replaced with the humbling force of truth, can result in becoming the slave of seven self-righteous errors worse than the first. We are not offended when we remind each other that the counsel to stand fast in our liberty in Christ is yoked with the warning not to let that liberty lure us to become trapped by some fleshly fetish.

With that said, I must leave you to count your chest hairs among yourselves. I could never match you. (If you ever want to check out nose hairs, that's another matter altogether.) Nor do I bid you follow me. You say you trust Jesus. Check out his “tattoos.” They’re awesome.